Popped out for two pints. Failed.

Only meant to have a couple.

Popped into the pub near the station. Two pints. Three tops. To take the edge off the week.

Hoped it would help me sleep.

Was about to go home when I saw the office crowd at All-Bar-One.

They seemed quiet, so I cracked a few jokes. Was feeling tipsy. More relaxed. More human.

Told them my wrong Simon story. Someone nearly choked on a crisp.

At one point, I mimed eating a stapler. Everyone laughed. I howled. Bent double, face red hot with joy.

People were nudging each other. Pointing at me, saying I’m not who they thought I was.

They loved it. For a little while, I was part of it. And I think I loved it too.

The pub had one of those loos with mirrored walls. Felt like I was surrounded. Nearly got into an argument with myself!

Slipped a little. Nothing dramatic. Bruised elbow. Wet trousers.

Left after that. Don’t think I said goodbye.

Woke up to a broken phone and sick on the floor.

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