Princess needs a permanent solution.

Watched the boss attempt to reverse-park this morning. Four times! Ha.

Eventually, he gave up and went in forwards. Still not straight.

There’s been an email sitting in my inbox for days:

“🥳🍾🍾Summer Social: Drinks, Canapés & Great Company!🍾🍾🥳”

Six follow-ups, asking for the RSVP.

“You’re coming, right?”

Not a question.

There’s never enough alcohol. Too many soggy pastry discs. Enough vegan options to make the Dalai Lama roll his eyes.

And all the fawning. Guffawing. Cringing as someone senior sings Elvis badly.

Why not? A last hurrah. Clicked Yes.

Need to clear my head before the new job. Get away from the fucking dog.

Almost booked a holiday. Put my card details in. Hovered over ‘Confirm’. Closed the tab.

Told myself I’ll wait for a better deal. But going away for a week won’t help. Princess needs a permanent solution.

Checked my to-do list:

  • Throw away the chipped Bubba Gump’s mug
  • Book holiday
  • RSVP to party
  • Buy milk
  • Find something for the mould in the bathroom
  • Do something about the hole
  • Follow up on the interview?

Surprised I’ve not heard back by now. Was half expecting to get the offer before I left the premises.

Leadership is probably debating it. “Is he too dynamic? Threat to the team? A flight risk?”

I should Google who you call to fix holes. Plasterers? Pest control? A builder? No idea. Best not have anyone getting too close.

Might go out tonight. Wonder if the King still does those scotch eggs. Haven’t had one in years.

Think I’ll keep the mug. The chip has worn smooth. Everything fixes itself with enough time. Right?

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