The flat’s dripping. The money’s gone.

Mortgage due next week.

Nothing incoming. Smart option would be to downsize. Flog the flat. Rent somewhere till I’m back on my feet.

But the agent said I’d be lucky to break even. Would lose money walking out the door. And where would I go? A one-bed somewhere near a train station and a fucking Lidl?

I remember the first night here. Sat cross-legged on the floor with a takeaway curry and a bottle of Malbec. No furniture. Just the flat, the food, and a sense of arrival.

The tap in the kitchen’s dripping again. Not loudly, but persistently. One drop every three seconds. 20 a minute. 28,800 a day.

Tried to fix it yesterday. Gave it a good twist with an adjustable spanner I found in the drawer. Something cracked.

Not long ago, I would’ve called someone. Paid to fix things without thinking. Or replace them. I had money. Options.

Could walk into any shop and not check the price tag. I liked it.

My back is sore, and my right hand is tingly. Spent too long in bed on my laptop.

Used to have an ergonomic Montblanc mouse mat. It came in a box. Soft velvet pouch. Certificate of authenticity. Used to run my fingers along the stitching during long Zoom calls.

I could say yes to things. Fancy things. Drink great wine in great suits.

These days, I drink the vinegar that sits on the bottom shelf of the rack. And I can’t remember the last time I bought clothes that weren’t socks.

Need a job. Something. Anything.

Sold the car, so nothing too far away. Porsche Boxster. Midnight blue. Red leather interior. Drove it to Waitrose on Saturdays.

There’s not much in the job market. Spent hours scrolling. This coffee is rank. Watery. Instant garbage.

Miss my De’Longhi coffee machine. With an app. Did espresso, cold brew, frothy milk. Had a weekly subscription for coffee beans.

Found an admin job that I nearly applied for before I stopped myself. £29k and a railcard. Filled out the form. Wrote a polite cover letter.

Am I fucking admin now?

Maybe I’m a writer. Earned $0.82 on Medium in June. Should hit minimum wage by 2061. World’s catching on slowly.

What about you? You’re still reading.

Is this what you want? Go on. Keep reading. See what I lose next, you sick fuck.

You want an ending? You don’t even know why it started.

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