Got to work late again. Knew I was pushing it when I stopped for coffee, but the thought of sitting at my desk without one felt worse than the consequences.
10:12, boss appeared beside my desk, “Can we chat when you’ve got a moment?”
“Do we have to?”
He didn’t sound annoyed. More concerned, which is worse. He pointed to his office, then walked off. I followed him in. He closed the door.
“Look. I want to check in. You’ve been coming in late a lot lately, and I wanted to make sure everything’s alright. You doing OK?”
I said, “Yeah.”
He nodded like he was waiting for more. I had nothing more to add.
“I don’t mean to pry. I want you to know if anything is going on, you can tell me. I’m not trying to catch you out. Just… Are you alright?”
I shrugged and said, “I must walk slower than I think I do. I leave home on time. And then somehow it’s ten past.”
He chuckled politely, like I’d told a joke.
Then he said, “I also noticed your output’s dropped a bit. Nothing dramatic. You’re usually more on top of things.”
I repeated, “I’m fine”.
He nodded again, his signature move. He thinks he’s supportive, but it felt like being nudged toward a confession I don’t have.
“If you’re struggling, I’m happy to make adjustments.”
I said, “The dog next door barks a lot. I’m tired.”
He sat back and looked at his screen. Clicked his mouse with force.
“Well… I need to issue a formal warning for your timekeeping. It’s not a big deal. I wanted to speak first, just in case.”
I said I understood.
We shook hands at the end. Like we’d agreed on something.
Back at my desk, I made a coffee I didn’t want to drink. On cue, the formal warning pinged into my inbox.
Reread it until the mug went cold. Thought about deleting it. Replying to it. Walking out and not coming back because of it.
Marked it as unread.
—
When I got home, I didn’t turn on the lights right away. The flat was unchanged. I wasn’t.
The email said the warning wasn’t anything to worry about. Still got into bed with my shoes on.
next: 13. Half Dressed for Hope
previous: 11. The Hole Behind the Bin