Apr 10, 2025 : 1. Reluctant Introduction None of this is real. Don’t read too much into it. Please. Keep telling myself this is fiction. Only thoughts. Some things I want to forget. Some I …

Apr 12, 2025 : 2. Double Denim Descent Such a loser. Where to start? I’m British. So a fry-up seems a safe bet. Could’ve done something more profound to celebrate my 30th. Booked an exotic …

Apr 14, 2025 : 3. Woke to the Smell of Fish Fingers Everything was off. My alarm didn’t go off this morning. The cheap wireless charger work got me for my birthday was a charred lump on the floor. …

Apr 15, 2025 : 4. Acceptable Components of a Fry-Up Breakfast is serious. People are wrong. I mentioned my birthday fry-up at work. Shouldn’t have. It sparked a full-blown argument. Some unhinged …

Apr 16, 2025 : 5. The Man with the Mushroom I looked away like it hadn’t happened. Had to go to the shops after work. No food, no coffee, and the dog next door is gearing up for another …

Apr 21, 2025 : 6. Unexpected Victory Bode my time. Waited. Pounced. A hero. Went to see a film yesterday. Changed my mind at the door. Was about to head home, but then I saw the new …

Apr 22, 2025 : 7. Report Done. Don’t Fucking Ask Me About It. Nothing. Tuesday. First day back in the office after my heroic long weekend. Spent most of the day blinking at my screen. Somehow got the report done. …

Apr 24, 2025 : -78. The Stranger in My Office Who are you? Why are you here? When I got to work, a stranger was sitting in my office. Coat on the chair. Half-drank coffee mug on display. It felt …

Apr 27, 2025 : 8. Right Day, Wrong Movie Jolon Fairweather’s day off. It’s Sunday, and a lot has happened since I last wrote. On Wednesday, I went to work. On Thursday, I did the same. …

Apr 29, 2025 : X. How to Write a Perfect Medium Post (Selling Your Soul to the Algorithm) Author note: I edited the previous version for accuracy. Kept the coffee. Opening hook. Opening hook. Opening hook. Opening hook. Opening hook. …

May 1, 2025 : 9. Today, I Said Nothing at Work I not work proper. Spent most of the day writing a Slack message. Nothing important. Just a reply in a thread no one’s touched since Monday. First, I …

May 3, 2025 : 10. What the Ceiling Says at 3am Staring up. Not winning. Can’t sleep. Again. I’m lying here staring at the ceiling like we are having an argument. Don’t think I’m winning. Buying …

May 4, 2025 : -71. Shameful Trip to the Printer I could smell the stranger. I’d gone to the director’s floor for a presentation. Those walls hadn’t heard a joke in years. — My stomach dropped. The …

May 5, 2025 : 11. The Hole Behind the Bin Can’t stop thinking about it. No alarm today. Bank holiday. Woke around nine and dragged myself to the kitchen. Last night’s takeaway cartons were …

May 6, 2025 : 12. A Formal Nothing to Worry About Knew I‘d cop it when I stopped for coffee. Got to work late again. Knew I was pushing it when I stopped for a coffee, but the thought of sitting at my …

May 7, 2025 : 13. Half Dressed for Success Nearly winning. I’ve awoken with a new sense of purpose. Full of someone else’s joie de vivre, maybe. There are plenty of other jobs. Ones I can …

May 8, 2025 : 14. How Do You Know You’re Alive? The man with no pulse. Applied for three jobs before getting out of bed. One mentioned “stakeholder mapping,” which sounds a bit like urban hunting. …

May 9, 2025 : Handcrafting the Perfect Sandwich Includes notes on structure, seasoning, and technique. Begin by clearing a suitable area for your prep. Not on top of the glass hob. A proper space …

May 9, 2025 : -68. She Deserved My Finger Wag She stole my cactus. I caught her eye. I saw her in Pret. Not by chance. The queue was long, but I found my way behind her. Her faint, floral lift …

May 11, 2025 : 15. Trying to Be the Best Version of Myself Nothing I do feels right. Spent all weekend reworking my CV. Nothing I added felt right. Scrapped it all. Made the font bigger. Improved my education …

May 13, 2025 : 16. Maybe She Didn’t Like My Meal Deal She blinked like I wasn’t there. Woke at 4:12. Listened to the barking. Got to work early. Logged in. A motivational GIF had been pasted into the …

May 15, 2025 : 17. Might Need a Second Biscuit A story of stolen digestives, hope, and HR. There’s a Post-it on the fridge: PLEASE DO NOT EAT OTHER PEOPLE’S BISCUITS No smiley face. Currently …

May 15, 2025 : War in The Pantry An epic 55-word tale of office rivalry. Her chocolate digestives were gone. “I labelled them,” she said. “I saw,” he replied. “Why are you eating …

May 17, 2025 : 18. Drunk and Red Hot with Joy Popped out for two pints. Failed. Only meant to have a couple. Popped into the pub near the station. Two pints. Three tops. To take the edge off the …

May 17, 2025 : -61. The Stranger Knows My Name She looked down. Then back at me. Wasn’t planning to go to the work do. Another sycophantic schmoozefest with corporate clients. But the invite said …

May 18, 2025 : 19. Only Bones Remain Hunted by a dog I’ve never seen. Still in bed. Day two. Can’t move my elbow. Watched every episode of America’s Sweethearts. Go DCC. Those girls are …

May 19, 2025 : Most Dreadful Thing Flash Fiction Prompt #5 | May 2025 Tide was low, the sea strained under a bruised sky. His map was marked only with a cross. The trail had narrowed, …

May 19, 2025 : Resting Spot

May 19, 2025 : -152. A Bit on the Side Nothing Happened. Everything was round. Booked the trip on a whim. Nine days in Side, Turkey. All-inclusive. I wanted sun, silence. A break. Hoped it …

May 20, 2025 : 20. No One Clapped Biscuit failure. Didn’t sleep again. Mind racing. Chest tight. Heart pounding. Might be all the biscuits. Need to be healthier. Chopped half a banana …

May 21, 2025 : 21. The Best Day of My Life Do people feel like this all the time? No barking last night. No scratching. No whining. Silence. Real silence. And sleep. Real sleep. Woke up …

May 22, 2025 : 22. Shirt, Clean, Perturbing My reflection smiled at me. Slept right through again. Woke up alert, but with stiff legs. A good pain. Will run further next time. The kitchen still …

May 22, 2025 : #Hashtag What’s a Tick Tock? No Platform. No Presence. No Problem. My first tick-tock taught me how to tell the time. I’ve never hashtagged anything on purpose. So, I was …

May 23, 2025 : 23. Golden Dog I’m doing all the things that end in king tonight. Had a good week. Everything is going my way. About time Am sat in one of my old haunts. On my …

May 25, 2025 : 24. It’s Back Fucking Fuck. next | previous

May 26, 2025 : Eight Reasons Dogs Bark (And What They Might Be Trying to Tell You) Dogs bark for all kinds of reasons. Some are obvious, like fear, boredom, and excitement. Others are less clear, but they’re never meaningless. If you …

May 26, 2025 : 11. The Hole Behind the Bin Still can’t stop thinking about it. No alarm today. Bank holiday. Woke around nine and dragged myself to the kitchen. Last night’s takeaway cartons …

May 27, 2025 : 26. Princess I expected snarling. Growling. Cerberus. But it had a pink bow. Saw the neighbour in the corridor. With the dog. Wasn’t planning to say anything, but …

May 28, 2025 : He Called Himself The Big Dog A THROWAWAY ACT, NOW AN ETERNAL JUDGEMENT It was neat here. Little gravel paths and tiny stone benches. Pretty, for a field of rotted dead. Forgotten …

May 29, 2025 : 27. The Garamond Gospel: My Interview Blueprint Everything is annotated. My big interview is in the morning. 9 am. Ironed a shirt already. Shaved. Cut my nails. Clipped a rogue eyebrow hair. Set …

May 30, 2025 : 28. It Places the Cup on the Corner I watched them all scurry around. Had a good night’s sleep. A great morning, too. Thought about going for another run. Will do it tomorrow. Picked up …

Jun 2, 2025 : 29. Does He Really Know What Happened? How could he? He wasn’t there. Been replaying the interview. Going over the things I said. The way I smiled while talking. Think I sounded nervous. …

Jun 5, 2025 : Unreliable Narrator Hi, I’m Jolon. I’ve been writing down what happened. The way I want to remember it. Hello, world. #diary

Jun 5, 2025 : Ribbit Ignore me. I’m just holding the frog.

Jun 5, 2025 : It Really Is the Most Dreadful Fucking Thing What a load of bollocks. Ignore. Don’t feel like doing any work. Reread my Medium posts. Don’t care for them. 1. Reluctant Introduction Fucking idiot. …

Jun 6, 2025 : 31. I’m Back Finally got the call. “We loved speaking to you last week”. Knew it. I’m going to their office on Tuesday. Meet the team. Probably has cucumber water …

Jun 9, 2025 : 32. One More Day I’ve already won. I’m sure. Woke feeling ready. Lay there a while. Planning my new life. Big interview tomorrow. Not nervous. Sharp. Composed. Made …

Jun 10, 2025 : 33. S.H.I.N.E. Prepared. Poised. Perfect. Interview day. Up at 3. No point trying to sleep. Picked up my prep notes. Reread them again as the kettle boiled. Had a …

Jun 11, 2025 : -53. The Distance Between Us An Unspoken Goodbye Mist sat low over the surface, thinning and folding. She was ahead of me. Always by a few steps. My role was to follow. Neither of …

Jun 13, 2025 : 34. My To-Do List Princess needs a permanent solution. Watched the boss attempt to reverse-park this morning. Four times! Ha. Eventually, he gave up and went in …

Jun 15, 2025 : A Short Story About Dinner next | previous

Jun 16, 2025 : -56. Lisbon Obsidian It was my show. My prestige. We went to The Obsidian Room near the river to celebrate closing the Lisbon project. No pricing anywhere. Dark wooden …

Jun 17, 2025 : Twiddling My Thumb Twiddling my thumb. Email should’ve come. The shirt I wore? I’ve worn it before. Something I said? It’s all in my head. Probably nothing. Too much …

Jun 18, 2025 : 35. Still Waiting to Be Something Can feel them thinking about me. Still nothing from the interview. Must be good news. Rejections are fast. Have been working on an article for a …

Jun 19, 2025 : 36. Do Not Reply Thank you for your interest. Subject: Application to █████████████ Dear Mr Fairweather, Thank you for your interest in the ████████████ position. We …

Jun 20, 2025 : 37. Suggestion Box Dumb HR logic. Woke up face-down on the duvet, fully clothed, one shoe off. Mouth like wet lint. No memory of getting home. My face looked blotchy. …

Jun 22, 2025 : -32. A Day in the Park We stayed till the sun left. Her reading. Me watching. It was quite the journey to get there. Three buses. A stretch on foot. Not her local park. Not …

Jun 22, 2025 : Whoopsie Notes next | previous

Jun 23, 2025 : 38. Whoops A pattern of concerning behaviour. Got an email on my way to work. Subject: Termination of Employment: Jolon Fairweather Dear Mr Fairweather, …

Jun 25, 2025 : My Car Got Stuck Because They Shut Off the Lift So Cars Wouldn’t Get Stuck Logic, lifts, and chopsticks. The shopping centre had plenty of spots in the main parking lot, but there was a car lift to the basement. And I wanted …

Jun 26, 2025 : 39. Unexpected Defeat Bode my time. Waited. Missed. A nobody. Went to see a film yesterday afternoon. Changed my mind at the door. Was about to head home, but then I saw …

Jun 27, 2025 : Fair Weather A quiet card game of hidden suits and sudden skies. Invented by Jolon Fairweather Players Two to four. Deck One standard 52-card deck. Goal Be the …

Jun 30, 2025 : 40. Just a Bit of Fucking Fun. Ha. Ha. Play the damn game right. The dog barked all weekend. Constant. Frenzied. Like it was trying to dig through the hole behind the bin from the other …

Jul 3, 2025 : 41. He Didn’t Show So I spent the day drinking. Had a plan this morning. Go to The King. Patch things up with Hugh. Make it right. Shake hands. Find out what he knows. …

Jul 3, 2025 : 42. Not My Fucking Haven Clap, you bastards. Wrote something honest. Sharp. Hilarious. My car got stuck because they shut off the lift so cars wouldn’t get stuck. Submitted it …

Jul 7, 2025 : 43. Can’t Afford to Live The flat’s dripping. The money’s gone. Mortgage due next week. Nothing incoming. Smart option would be to downsize. Flog the flat. Rent somewhere till …

Jul 9, 2025 : Redemption at Any Cost She called you Princess. Gave you a name. As if that excused your nightly campaign. You barked through warnings and sleep I lost. Through the job I …

Jul 10, 2025 : The Dream I Have When I don't Sleep

Jul 14, 2025 : 44. Hardcore British Life Fixing a hole where the noise comes in. Threw out the chipped Bubba Gump’s mug this morning. Not got much else on. So, I went to B&M. Decided to …

Jul 18, 2025 : -49. I Didn’t Like Hugh’s Tone You’re not well, he whispered. Must’ve been about a week after Lisbon closed, Hugh wanted to meet in The King. As soon as I arrived, he pointed a …

Jul 21, 2025 : 45. Goldilocksing the Flat Just the right amount of mess. Tried a new toothpaste this morning. Was mintier than expected. It burned. Estate agent’s coming Friday. Need to clean …

Jul 25, 2025 : 46. The Viewing Woof, woof, woof. Estate agent’s just been. She smiled a lot. Said it was a lovely space. Asked if I’d already moved out. I said no. She looked at the …

Jul 27, 2025 : The Ballad of Sir Nolan the Bearfighter A Legend of a Man So Noble Even His Enemies Applauded. In the Kingdom of Ofhys, nestled between the Marshes of Delay and the Mountains of Meaningless, …